Confessions of an eBayholic
My name is Dennis Miller and I’m an ebayholic.
Yes, I’m addicted. I thought I could just visit the site, have a quick peek and walk away, a social eBayer as it were. But no, I found myself gradually going back more and more until it became once a day, then twice. My God, sometimes I even signed on in the morning. I don’t know how this happened.
I’m not proud of it.
Let me give you some background. Let me talk about it. I need to talk about it, to share my story.
I first logged onto eBay in the 1990s, — wait! – let me leave for a moment and check. . . . Yes, I joined November 27, 1999, as the door closed quickly on the 20th century. At that time I was interested in . . .oh, God, I don’t even know what I was interested in. But I bid on some things and won and played around with it for maybe a couple years. It was cheap high, but nothing serious.
Then I walked away from it. Cold turkey! I didn’t look back. I had neither need nor desire.
Nearly 10 years went by. Any of you my age knows how fast 10 years goes by. A blink. A wink. A heartbeat and –whoosh—a decade is behind you.
Then, in 2007 I started a website on a forgotten hard-boiled detective writer named William Ard. I had written an article about him for a magazine in 1992. I suddenly had the urge –no, a craving!—to start a web site and write about him, include photos of the numerous paperback book covers. I wanted to share him with the world and there is no better place than a web site.
I needed (and I say this in a hushed voice, looking to my right and left; God knows who is listening to all this) books. I needed books to photograph and upload onto the site.
My shoulders sag and I stare vacantly at my shoes as I admit this. I returned to eBay. . . . Yes! Nearly ten years clean and I returned to eBay. This time it wasn’t gradual. I strode through the cyber bat-winged doors, flinging them back and ordering auctions straight up!
I wanted Ard books! I sought them out with the full knowledge that I would pay any price for a first edition vintage paper back in very good condition or better. No one, please understand, no one would outbid me. I had the means and the will.
Needless to say, I found titles and I bid. And I won. With each title or lot I placed an initial bid with a maximum bid. As other bidders weighed in, I watched them carefully. I hit on their links to see who they were, if they were a casual collector or a seller. I was unmerciful in my quest to gather Ard titles. No one would get in my way.
As the bidding of each auction neared its end, I stayed on the site and hit the refresh button every 30 seconds, thwarting anyone who tried to come in at the last minute. Swoop in and throw another 10% on? Forget it, competitor! I toss in 20%!
In the first few weeks, I won every bid. Yes, it felt good. And no, I felt no remorse. I had a William Ard Website and I was determined to become the world’s leading expert in the works and life of this author. It’s a narrow, specialized field, but please try to understand the need, the attraction, the addiction of being the world’s best something or other.
Little did I know it would lead to bigger, stronger addictions that I’m in the middle of. Yes, even as you read this I’m struggling with a force more powerful than anything I ever imagined.
It’s pulling me into it’s black hole even as I write. I never thought it would go as far as it did. I thought I was in control.
Hard as it is, I’ll complete my confession in Part 2.
If you’d like to comment, please do. I could use the support.