Please Don’t Eat My Rib Sauce
My quest: to make great barbecued spare ribs.
Not just great, but outstanding. Fall-off-the-bone. Melt-in-your-mouth.
The first couple tries were failures with dry, tough meat that left jaws aching from all the chewing. But last Sunday, I knew I had it down. I put the baby-back rack in the oven at 300 degrees. I would do them for six hours, checking every two hours to make sure there was water on them to keep them moist and tender.
At 5:30 I asked Leigh if she’d made the barbecue sauce. She hadn’t. I said I would. I knew where the recipe was. I was in a rush because all the side dishes were done. I tossed in a quarter cup of ketchup, measured out the mustard, crushed the garlic clove and added a dash of worchestershire sauce.
The last ingredient was ¼ cup of strong coffee. I measured it out and poured it in. I brought it to a slow, simmering boil.
Leigh came out to the kitchen. “What’s wrong with that sauce?”
I shrugged. “Nothing that I know of. I followed the recipe.”
“It looks dark.”
“I followed the recipe.”
It was a beautiful day so we ate on the deck. I brought out the ribs and as I dished them out I was quietly ecstatic that they did, indeed, fall off the bone. I picked off a test piece. Ahh, melt-in-the-mouth it did.
“I don’t understand why the barbecue sauce looks so dark,” Leigh said again.
We spooned some out and put it on the done-to-perfection ribs.
“Ooh,” Leigh said quietly. What’s that funny taste?”
I took a bite. Something wasn’t right.
“Why’s it crunchy?” She asked.
As soon as she asked that, I had a suspicion of some wrong doing.
“Are these crunchy things coffee grounds?”
Bingo!
“Mmm, yeah. It said ¼ cup strong coffee.”
“It’s supposed to be coffee! Boiled coffee. Not coffee grounds.
I had to admit that her observation made perfect sense. I tried another bite. The most tender baby back ribs in the world still tasted wretched in a sauce made of coffee grounds.
She ran into the kitchen and in five minutes made a barbecue sauce that did justice to the ribs.
Okay. I got the ribs down.
Now I work on the sauce.
Life can be complicated sometimes.