The Perfect Song Blog

I can just hear the question: “Okay kids, how would you like to watch a movie on the big screen this afternoon?” And the kids, ages 3-5 jump up in excitement. Mom packs them into the car and takes them to Sam’s Club.

How do I know this? I saw this family, Sunday. I went to Sam’s at 11:30 to beat the church crowd. Well, all the other heathens in New York State had the same thought. The place was mobbed. I showed my membership card to an uninterested senior citizen in his Sam’s vest. I grabbed a cart and proceeded inward. . .until I reached the family. The mother stood there using her cart to lean on as the kids, sitting on the floor in a semi-circle, watched Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl.

This was not a few minute watch. They were in for the duration. The kids were so engrossed I’m sure they forgot they were sitting on a gray, concrete floor. The mother was oblivious to the woman in front of me trying to get through as people, trying to get out, stood and waited. Finally a hole opened up and the woman pushed around the family and I followed.

I think if a Sam’s Associate had come over and paused the movie, the woman probably would have taken the kids over to the snack counter and bought pretzels and soda and returned to pick up where they left off.

I could see her sitting at the supper table that evening, telling her husband about her day. “Yes, we watched Pirates of The Caribbean. I just love Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom.”

“This was in Sam’s Club?” Asks the father for clarification.

“Yes, it was a little drafty. People kept coming in the whole time. You know those big doors . . .when they open it lets in a lot of cold air.“ Turns to children. “I don’t know how you kids stood it sitting on that cold floor.”

“I think somebody called Mommy an idiot,” one child says.

“Bitch,” another child adds. “They called her a bitch.”

“I think it was dumb bitch,” the other corrects. (See? Kids are always paying attention.)

“People are so rude,” the mother says. “I mean there we were just standing – or sitting – minding our own business and people gave me dirty looks. I mean, they wouldn’t be playing those movies if they didn’t want people to watch, would they? I mean, that’s the point.”

She takes a bite of mashed potatoes. “People are so immature,” she says self-righteously.

“I wonder what’s on next week?” One child says.

“We’ll see, honey,” Mom says. “I’m sure it will be a good one.”